There are two things that most of us know we should do – but quietly put off. One is writing a will. The other is thinking about our own funeral. Both feel like tasks that can wait for another day, yet both can make an enormous difference to the people we leave behind.
At F.W. Spilsbury, we have supported families in Malvern and across Worcestershire for over 150 years. In that time, we have seen first-hand how much easier the days after a bereavement are when someone has taken the time to plan ahead – and how much harder they can be when nothing has been arranged.
If you have ever wondered whether writing a will is the same as planning a funeral, or whether doing one means you’ve done the other, this guide is for you.
The Short Answer: They Are Very Different Things
A will and a funeral plan are two entirely separate documents that serve two entirely different purposes. Neither replaces the other, and ideally, every adult should have both in place.
A will deals with what happens to your belongings, your property, and your financial affairs after your death. A funeral plan (or at the very least, a record of your funeral wishes) deals with how you would like to be remembered and what kind of send-off you would like.
Confusing the two – or assuming that one covers the other – is one of the most common oversights we encounter. Let’s look at each in detail.
What Is a Will?
A will is a legal document that sets out your wishes regarding the distribution of your estate – everything you own – after your death. It allows you to specify:
- Who inherits your property, savings, and possessions.
- Who should be appointed as executor, to manage your estate and carry out your wishes.
- Who should be guardian to any dependent children.
- Whether you wish to leave any charitable gifts or bequests.
- Any specific items you wish to leave to particular individuals.
Without a valid will, your estate is distributed according to the rules of intestacy – a fixed legal framework that may not reflect your actual wishes. Unmarried partners, for example, have no automatic right to inherit under the intestacy rules, regardless of how long they have been together. Stepchildren are also excluded unless formally adopted.
A will must be signed in the presence of two independent witnesses to be legally valid in England and Wales. It is strongly advisable to have it drawn up by a solicitor, though it is possible to write a simple will yourself using a reputable template if your affairs are straightforward.
Does a Will Say Anything About Your Funeral?
It is possible to include a note of your funeral wishes within your will – for example, whether you would prefer burial or cremation, or whether you have strong feelings about a religious or non-religious service. However, this comes with an important caveat: wills are often not read until after the funeral has already taken place.
In the immediate days following a death, the priority is usually registering the death and making practical arrangements. The will may not be located or read until much later. This means that even if you have written down your funeral preferences in your will, your family may never see them in time.
This is why it is so important to communicate your funeral wishes separately – and to make sure the people closest to you know where to find them.
What Is a Funeral Plan?
A funeral plan is a way of setting out your wishes for your own funeral in advance – and, in many cases, pre-paying for some or all of those arrangements so that your family is not left with the financial burden at a difficult time.
A funeral plan can be as formal or informal as you choose. At the simplest level, it might be a letter or document kept in a known location that records:
- Whether you would prefer burial or cremation.
- Whether you would like a religious, non-religious, or humanist service.
- Any music, readings, or poems you would like included.
- Whether you have strong preferences about the type of coffin or casket.
- Where you would like to be buried, or where you would like your ashes scattered.
- Whether there are people you particularly wish to be notified.
- Any other personal touches that would make the service feel truly like you.
A more formal pre-paid funeral plan goes a step further, allowing you to pay for specific funeral director services at today’s prices. This can provide significant financial reassurance for your family and ensures that your chosen funeral director knows your wishes in advance.
Pre-Paid Funeral Plans: What to Know
Pre-paid funeral plans are now regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) in the UK, which means that any company offering them must meet certain standards of conduct and financial protection. It is important to choose a reputable provider and to read the terms carefully to understand exactly what is and is not covered.
At F.W. Spilsbury, we are always happy to talk through the options for pre-planning a funeral, whether that involves a formal pre-paid plan or simply helping you put your wishes in writing in a clear and accessible way. There is no obligation, and the conversation costs nothing.
Why Both Matter – and Why Neither Replaces the Other
Some people assume that because they have written a will, their affairs are in order. Others believe that making funeral arrangements is sufficient. In reality, the two documents serve entirely different purposes, and both are needed to give your family the fullest possible guidance.
Think of it this way:
- Your will tells your family what to do with your estate – your home, your savings, your possessions.
- Your funeral wishes tell your family how to say goodbye – your values, your preferences, your personality.
One is a legal and financial document. The other is a personal and emotional one. Together, they can spare your loved ones an enormous amount of uncertainty, stress, and difficult decision-making at the worst possible moment.
The Gift of Planning Ahead
We know that thinking about our own death is not something most of us find easy. It can feel morbid, or premature, or simply something to address “one day.” But in our experience, the families who are most grateful in the days and weeks following a bereavement are almost always those whose loved one had taken the time to plan.
When wishes are clear, families can focus on grieving and remembering rather than second-guessing and worrying. When wishes are unknown, every decision becomes a source of potential disagreement or guilt. It is one of the kindest things you can do for the people you love.
Planning your funeral does not mean resigning yourself to death. It means taking care of the people who matter most to you, in the way that only you can.
What to Do Next
If you have not yet written a will, we would encourage you to speak with a local solicitor as soon as possible. Many offer a straightforward will-writing service that can be completed in a single appointment.
If you have not yet recorded your funeral wishes – even in a simple written note – we invite you to get in touch with us. We offer a warm, unhurried conversation about your preferences, with absolutely no pressure and no commitment. Whether you are thinking ahead for yourself or trying to understand the options available to a loved one, we are here to help.
At F.W. Spilsbury, we have been helping families in Malvern and across Worcestershire since 1875. We understand that these conversations are not always easy – but we also know how much they matter.